It’s hard to describe how I feel: defensive, independent, hurt, scared, defiant, brave, lucky… I ran to my car tonight. It was unusual – I was only a couple blocks away when I said goodbye to my girl friends. He was watching I guess. Just another car on the street – a hoot n’ holler, drive-by compliment, no one too serious I was sure… I smiled, laughing to myself a little- had that move ever in history ever worked for a guy? He must have seen my smile, or perhaps he was offended when I didn’t respond. Perhaps a challenge? It was certainly not an invitation.
My car wasn’t so far away – and he slowed down so that he kept pace with me. Why was I alone? I am a tough girl! I’ve lived in the city, partied late, I’ve never let a guy defend me, fight my fight or throw punches. But I would have given a lot for the protective arm of someone who cared about me tonight though. I haven’t been scared in awhile. All I knew how to do I learned in a one hour self-defense class in highschool… put your keys between your fingers like small blades and fight for your life. Why was that all I could remember? I held my keys tight. I shouldn’t have walked towards my car but I didn’t have anywhere but the black shadows of the parking lot to go and it was well after 2am with no one on the sidewalks. Call for help? My phone was dead. Funny, here I was, Miss Independence wishing I actually had someone who cared about me enough to get me to my car or drive me home… where was he now? The guy I walked away from… the guy who didn’t seem to care if I left. I thought of him, wished for him… even thought in some crazy girl fantasy type way that maybe he was parked nearby just waiting for me to call it a night and kiss me goodnight. But no, I had the unwanted company of a very different man altogether now. I started to run to my car, and his car sped up, and parked between my car door and me. I had already ditched my heels, and I was able to make it around his car to mine before he got out. I jumped in my car, locked my doors – and though I should have driven away, all I could do was cry with relief. I looked back at him, standing a few feet from my car window, and mouthed the words to him, “why?!”
I was lucky tonight, but so many girls aren’t.
Ladies: One block, a few seconds finding keys in your purse, that’s all it takes… DO NOT WALK HOME ALONE, DO NOT WALK TO YOUR CAR ALONE. Have your keys ready, ditch the shoes when you need to pick up your pace, and if you ARE alone, call a friend to chat with so they will know your situation and location until you are safe.
